Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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