So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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