great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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