Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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