I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
