I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
