i barfeds in our rink
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
