she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
