apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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