Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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