Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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