My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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