she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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