she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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