Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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