Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
