If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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