I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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