Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
