ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
