Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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