Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
