I have demons in me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
