He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
