worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
