So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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