I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
