I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
