And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
