i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
