she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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