you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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