at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
did i walk over a car last night?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Randomize
