Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
