You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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