I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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