..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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