True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
