Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
