I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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