i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
