well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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