Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
