I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
