He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
