so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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