We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
