This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
