I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
