is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
