just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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