I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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